Marriage is hard--especially if you don't have a sense of humor. Luckily, the husbands and wives included in HuffPo's new roundup of 22 priceless tweets that sum up life as a married couple are as funny as they come. These are funny, enjoy the chuckle:
"My wife never talks about the 99 times I watched her purse and didn't lose it."
"What do I do?! My wife is in the middle of washing the dishes and I have a dirty dish for her. Do I just toss it in and run?!"
"I'm secretly doing an investigation on how many decorative pillows I can put around the house 'til husband loses his s**t. Current count: 23."
"Marriage means sometimes you have to apologize for something you did in another person's dream."
"Husband just freed a few pieces of Cool Ranch Dorito from my hair while hugging me and this is how sex starts."
"Can't wait to go home and eat frozen pizza while my wife tells me what I'm doing this weekend."
"Pro tip: If you're wondering how many times it's okay to tell your wife 'Cash me outside' before she heads outside, the answer is two."
"You don't even need an alarm clock when you're married cuz he will loudly clear his throat and wake you at 6 a.m. every morning until you die."
"At the end of an argument, my wife told me I was right. I suspect a trap. If you don't hear from me again, call the police."
"I like to tell my husband, 'Do whatever you want,' then watch him be completely unsure of what that means."